The Kampala City Orchestra

At dusk Kampala’s conductor tunes up his orchestra.  Cockerels: slightly out of tune but in good voice.  Stray dogs: perfectly in pitch although not always together.  The neighbour’s radio: overwhelming the entire orchestra and also not quite in tune.  The music begins in earnest at about 8pm. It is not a concert I would pay money for – for starters they don’t seem to be on the same page let alone playing from the same symphony.  The dogs hardly seem aware of the cockerels and the radio can’t decide which piece he is playing.  The climax comes at about 10pm when the conductor begins the second movement. The composer seems to have chosen the strategy of involving many choirs in his masterpiece as the first Pentecostal church begins with a repetitive chord sequence on his Casio keyboard and a little wailing down a distorted microphone.  The church round the corner joins in at full volume at 12 midnight but may have missed their cue, since the others all started an hour ago.  However they do seem to have the same keyboard and overly-loud distorted sound system, so they fit in nicely.  The conductor pulls and drags the orchestra in such an accomplished way that we are pulled into his ups and downs, at times believing the symphony will end and at other times believing it would go on forever.  I must admit I dozed off at around 1am, so I missed the third movement, but if the fourth movement at 6am was anything to go by, it was all pretty much the same except the dogs had finally sung their piece and gone to bed and the radio had been retired.  The final few bars were captivating, with wailing and fervent praying over the super-sonic sound system.  Finally, 12 hours after it started, the conductor drew his weary orchestra to a close with a Muslim call to prayer from a local Mosque and the symphony faded out into peace.  At 7am the city was calm and still.  Little Samuel stirred and began chattering, having slept peacefully through the entire performance.  Unlike his mum and dad!